Exploring Defenses With Compassion

This worksheet is designed to help you identify, soften, and reframe your defense mechanisms without shame. Instead of seeing your defenses as flaws, it invites you to view them as protective strategies that once kept you safe.

What It Covers

1. Identify Your Defense:

   • Notice when a defense (like withdrawal, denial, overworking, or projection) shows up.

   • Write down the situation that triggered it.

2. Explore the Purpose:

   • Ask: What was this defense protecting me from?

   • Recognize the wisdom in how your body and mind tried to keep you safe.

3. Notice the Impact:

   • Reflect: Does this defense help me in this moment, or does it block deeper connection?

   • Differentiate between when the defense is useful and when it causes harm.

4. Shift with Compassion:

   • Choose one small way to soften the defense (pause, breathe, journal, move your body).

   • Replace reactivity with curiosity.

5. Tie Into WAIT:

   • Use the WAIT method to slow down:

     • What am I feeling? Why?

     • Am I reacting from anxiety?

     • What information do I have?

     • How much time do I need before I respond?

Goal of the Worksheet

To transform your defenses from automatic reactions into insightful signals. Instead of pushing people away or shutting yourself down, you begin to use defenses as a compass that shows you where healing and connection are possible.

Key Takeaway: Your defenses aren’t the enemy. With compassion and tools like WAIT, they become invitations to deeper self-awareness and more liberated relationships.